arli

welp….let me start out by saying I have gained five pounds…I am very angry at myself for this happening again…im over it…i eat pizza as a meal at least 2 times per week….i snack on potato chips and tortilla chips with dip…ive been drinking regular sodas….not even diet…i havent been drinking much water at all…i feel dehydrated…i feel like shit….and im the worst stress eater ever…i use food to help me with my stress and i do it subconsciously….until im not so stressed anymore and then i dont need food as much and then i realize that all this time i was eating crazily and now that i have enough money to pay bills and still have some fun then i dont need food as much…is it bad to wish that i had a different addiction…like i was watching sex rehab with dr drew last night and wished i had that addiction instead of foood but im sure they wish they had food addiction instead of sex im sure…i dunno…its all just a vicious cycle…and im so sick of feeling like crap…and the weird thing is…im almost comfortable with my weight lately but i just feel like crap all the time….like i have no energy at all and when im done eating im like dead because i ate so much……..grrrrrrrrrr fooooood!!!!!!!!

ok…so lets catch up…

i no longer work for dominos…now i have a job at a place called Zoup! which serves soups salads and sandwiches….they have lots of healthy soups to choose from and healthy salads and i can make up my own healthy sandwich because they dont have any on the menu that are healthy…i mean they are healthy compared to a big mac but you know what i mean…anyways…its delicious…and i get half off my meal for working there….im excited abut everything….im getting the hours i need there and at maui wowi…im paying bills easily and having money left over to buy groceries and see movies and stuff like that….so i do plan on going grocery shopping after work today and stocking up on some fruits and veggies which have been lacking in my diet badly lately and i need to stop buying sodas and just get water….and i need to eat some chicken….yummmy…chicken….and i need to use my crock pot more so if anyone knows of any crock pot meals that are wonderful let me know….ya…ive been working a lot lately….i have worked 12 days straight now and have another 7 days this week….needless to say i need a damn day off…that will happen on november 9th because it will be my birthday that day….yahoo…big 23!!! haha…ok…and not that anyone really wants to hear this about me but when i am not on my birth control pill im really really really really overly horny hahahahaa……does anyone else have this happen to them?  my birth control pills seem to control my hormones to the point where sex isnt that big of a deal…i mean ya every once in awhile im like man i need sex but most of the time im just like sex…its good but i dont have to have it…..and when im off my pill i want sex always…i think about it a lot more and i even look at other people and think i want to have sex with them altho i never would because i have my wonderful boyfriend…but u know….

ok…welp thats all there is to say right now…

so far ive had a bottle of water today and a wheat bagel with lite cream cheese…ill be counting my calories today…and will have totals later….see yall! its good to be back