arli

welp yall

i just dont know what to do…

i dont think i wanna work at bath and body works because i feel like its a nightmare im having where i dont get my availability on the computer in time…therefore i dont get to work..its freakin me out that a computer generates our schedule because i cant convince anyone that im more equipped than others so i should get more hours…i just dont like it…i dont feel like its personal at all… so of course i went to apply at target and pier 1 imports….the lady at pier 1 imports seemed to think i was weird…i could tell by the way she made faces after i would respond to her questions…so i was just like uhhh….plus i answered questions terribly because i wasnt prepared and was nervous…i hate when that happens…i was just trying to turn in my application not sit thru an interview hah

anywho…i know for sure she is not interested in me…so anywho….target called me for an interview yesterday and i had it and got my drug test done and got the position of cashier…they were very hesitant to hire me because they wanted me to be available for weekends and before i was working zoup on weekends…so now…i told zoup i must have weekends off and that i need to work target on weekends….so…ya…i just wish i could settle into a job that pays me enough money so i wouldnt have to freakin have 3 jobs…its driving me crazy…im totally stressed about it….not as stressed as iw ould be if i didnt have enough jobs and income to pay my bills though…thats the ultimate stresser right there!

warning: x rated material below!

well i havent had sex in almost a month now….and omg….if you only knew how freakin ready i was for some sex tonight hahaha! im so sorry you all are having to hear about this but i did warn you so perhaps yall arent even reading this…but ya…ok

so im sitting at work right now bored to death!!!!!! and i just wana be off work already! grrr!

tomorow i work 830 til 930….im ok with that i havent had a full day of work in awhile so i should be well prepared for it now…

black friday is coming….and oooo my goodness i think this years gonna be a good one…just because people are finally adjusting to their new amount of money…and people are going to want to get good deals because they cant afford not to…so ya it will be cool to see how it goes this year…im not sure which places im working at except i do know im working at maui wowi….i have to be here by 3:45 AM! ahhh! i will have to go to sleep on thanksgiving by 8 if i wanna even get a decent amount of sleep at all…its gonna be crazy…and then i will probably have to go to target or zoup after that….or possibly even both…all i know is i am going to be completely dead by the end of it all

welp i guess i should find something to do at work now.!

see yall lata

blah blah blah

ok…i was just looking at a picture that a coworker posted of me on facebook….she took it while i was working….and i see how terribly fat i really am…and i kinda wanna cry!….i hate it! and it gave me some kind of motivation for my day….i should probably look at that pic every day…

well i know i have been complaining to yall about zoup..but i feel like im finally starting to like it…after all the drama is said and done i actually go in every day challenging myself to do better than before…and thats what i always need in a job…i also get a text message almost every day witha list of what ive done wrong so that makes me wanna do better even though i wish i would get recognition for allll the things ive done right but oh well…i have also been told i might be getting the position ive been ASKING FOR WITH THE MONEY IVE BEEN ASKING FOR…STILL DUNNO WHEN OR HOW MUCH…SO WE WILL SEE….oops i just realized i had caps lock on but im too lazy to retype it so there ya go haha

im sort of really sad right now and i hope it gets better today….i dont wanna be here at work today i just wanna be in my own apartment with my christmas tree standing and not knocked over on the floor and some good tv and some good comfort food and a blanket…sittin on the couch…is that too much to ask for?

welp ima go now.

ok so i just bought this new pink grapefruit noxzema acne face scrub stuff and i loooveee it…it foams up real nice but it also has scrubby things in it and it makes my face soft allll in one! i absolutely love it and would recommend it to all of you and it smells yummy!

and i had to 2 huge pimples on my face and they are wayyyyyy smaller in just 2 days…it usually takes way longer for me!

anywho….i woke up this morning to my christmas tree on the floor and i tried to pick it up but then it split in half…=[ im sooo sad and i know it was my cat because he keeps laying in the tree…yes…IN the tree…grr!

so im either getting a new one or giving up….too stressful

but i stilll love christmas!

welp last night i didnt eat anything after my lunch at work until 8ish…i went to hacienda and got a grande quesadilla with chicken and had chips and salsa and 2 glasses of orange margarita and got tipsy off of it…im a light weight….anywho…i obviously didnt do well on my eating once again but at least thats all i ate…and i didnt eat anything else when i got home so i didnt do too shabby

tonite im going out for the first time in months to an irish pub called RiRas with a few friends…im very excited…i hope its fun…i do plan on drinking…hopefully i wont spend too much money…yikes!

ive had a rainforest falls smoothie this morning and a muffin…i dont want to eat anything heavy today since i will be going out tonight….so for lunch ima probably eat the rest of my sketti with marinara and that will be it…then when i go out i might have a salad since riras is a restaurant and night club thing….and the rest is drinks..i do this sooooooo seldom that i dont plan on holding back tonight…i wanna have fun!

so have any of you used crest whitening strips and do you like them and are they really hard to wear or is it just me?

i swear i think its the hardest thing to do to wear those things…i feel like i cant move my mouth hardly at all and i cant swallow and i just accumulate spit in my mouth and it starts running out of my mouth hahaha….grosss…but they are hard to wear man….i hope this is worth it in a week….i hope i have me some brighter whiter teeth in a week….anyone have good results with thesE?

welp im off to work now!

bye yall!

ok…so yes i know its a bit early to be putting up my tree but for some reason i have always loved the feel of a home with a christmas tree in it….it feels sooooo much more home-y and it makes me want to be home and cuddled up next to the tree watching christmas movies and sipping on hot cocoa!

i am really into christmas this year and i have recently been involved in crafts as well so i do plan on sort of making my own gifts this year and sending out homemade christmas cards…i also wanna make my own gift tags for presents….im super duper excited and i see myself spending wayyyy too much money….but its what i like to do and happiness is priceless!

welp eating has still not been good…but i did watch my recording of the biggest loser last night and SPOILER ALERT:::

so why the hell did they send shay home due to “playing the game” after they were alll bitching about how tracey played teh game and has no heart and shes wicked and bla bla bla…..

i am sooo mad right now its ridiculous….im not mad that they sent her home….im mad that they are hypocrites and hopefully they will all watch the shows and see how ridiculous they were to hate tracey soooo much!

ARGH!

anywho…i wish shay would have stayed because i always like to see how much weight she can lose on the ranch…however i for some reason dont think shes going to do well at home…hopefully she proves me wrong

as for daniel i think he should have pushed himself soooo much more because he had his second chance handed to him….he should have taken advantage of it more than he did but oh well…he never gave up and thats what matters most

and as for david…his friend….i was sooo sad and i saw myself in him…when he said that weight loss isnt his main priority and hes working a lot and he doesnt feel fat…i was like omg he is me!

and yet as i watched him and listened to what he was saying i was thinking omg he needs to wake the hell up because he is morbidly obese and he shouldnt have to feel like hes dying before he begins a weight loss journey…ya know…and yet here i am…im still not eating like i should and have yet to exercise…so…ya

jingle bells jingle bells jingle alll the way!

yay i love christmas yall….!!!!!!!!

i have to save my christmas money for that damn speeding ticket this year and im sooo mad about that because i was gonna get me a new tv with my christmas money and now i cant…but oh well its not a need its a want…ill be okay…

i get paid today from one of my jobs and im excited because im sooo going over to some craft stores and getting christmas inspired papers and stamps and ima make some cards and gift tags tonight hopefully…yahoo! yes this is how i spend my friday nights…at home…alone…crafting haha…im a loser i swear!

oh yes….i got that bath and body works job!

so now i need to make a choice…do i stay at zoup and have three jobs or do i quit zoup and just have bath and body works and maui wowi….ahh! decisions!….at least i have these decisions to make with the economy the way that it is ya know!….i dont think that i will get enough hours at bath and body works to be able to quit zoup…not yet anyways but as soon as black friday comes around i will and thats when the real decisions need to begin!

so…eating…i have had a skim chai latte today and a water and i brought applesauce and some spaghetti with marinara sauce to work with me….so i will be having that for lunch…yumtastic…i will try my best today to eat better….and no sodas!

oh ya and i have a dreadful cough thats coming from deep in my chest and im coughing up mucus…yucky yuck!

ok im done now! ill write lata!

welp….yes the past few days have been interesting i guess…

lets first start out with the tragic speeding ticket…

welp i was going along the expressway at 52 mph…the normal speed limit is 50 but because i was in a worksite it was 40 at the time…i knew about it there were even flashing red lights saying it but of course im speeding anyways because im in the city my boyfriend lives in and i need to be in my city which is right next to it but ya anyways…lets face it…i get pulled over…and im like dang it i swear every time i start to have extra money something happens like my car needs worked on or i get a crazy late fee on a bill even though i pay it on time but because i pay it online the same day its due it wont process til the next day and causes me to have a late fee…anywho….or…i get a speeding ticket in a worksite and guess how much it costs!!?!? i called and the lady said that i could get lucky and they may not file it as in worksite and it will only be 140…but if they file it as being in a worksite its 450!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg!!!!!!!! what the hell!!!!!!! only ten over the limit and i have to pay 450!!!!! im sooo pissed…i cried my eyes out!!!!

welp anyways….besides that….my birthday was monday november 9th i turned 23…yuck..im gettin old hahaha

i ate with my boyfriend at a pizza buffet here in town called cicis….and stuffed my face…and felt pretty terrible afterwards….and then last night i had chocolates and buffalo hot wing pretzel nibs and mac and cheese….terrible!

this morning ive eaten a banana nut muffin and i had vitamin water…not terrible but that muffin has almost 600 calories…geesh!

oh well.

ok…so this job at zoup….welp on one hand i wanna keep it because i feel like if i leave now i will never get the money that ive deserved….and i will have done alll of this work for no extra pay…and plus i know i can keep this job past the holidays….on the other hand im really sick and tired of being told everything i do wrong and nothing i do right and im tired of being balmed for their money issues….every night i count the safe the money is suppoed to be 500 and its always a crazy amount thats not 500 so last night i was tired and was just like whats the point in counting the safe…well i didnt count it and i get a text from my boss asking me where the count for the safe is and i said i forgot to count it and shes like well its 150 bucks off and bla bla bla….umm its always something crazy  different from the night before and i never get a text about it but because i didnt count it maybe she thinks i took the money…who knows…i dont care anymore.

i have an interview at bath and body works today…i need to make sure that they will give me enough hours…if so then i will be okay but i cant live with less than 20 hours….and if they cant give me more than 20 then i will have to continue to put up with the shit at zoup until i find something else i spose

i dunno…im a little bit stressed out to say the least…

o and last night i got noooo sleep…at all..

i fell asleep around 2 at my boyfriends house…and around 240 he deicdes to roll his tv on his tv stand into the bedroom and watch family guy….omg i wanted to kill him! he felt bad after i told him i really wanted to punch him in the face…and i felt bad for saying that…so here we are both laying here feeling bad about the stupidest stuff haha…pitiful!

welp ima get to work now…ill talk to yall later…im kinda getting stressed out writing this stuff down more than i was stressed out before which is weird for me because it usually helps me…

welp…when i went to my second job yesterday i had already consumed a little over 1400 cals…i did not eat a thing while i was there but i brought home two soups…beef barley and broccoli cheddar and neither one of those were the healthy choice…yesterday we had ginger butternut squash soup and a vegetarian spicy black bean chili that would have been healthier for me and a lemon lentil yummm….but…of course i picked the two i really wanted to eat and brought them home and ate them….then i had a sandwich with just 2 slices of cheese on it…geesh…ya real healthy arli and then for a snack i had some fried peanuts that you can eat shell and all….they were deliciousness….grrrr….but its better than my snacking from the other night…id say each soup had 300 cals in it…so theres my 2000 cals i was trying to stay under…then my cheese sandwich was 280 cals and fried peanuts probably 200….so i went 480 over my goal….argh!!!! see i should have never eaten that 500 calorie wrap…im so mad at myself for that…but yet proud that i didnt go too overboard because lets face it i was eating 1000 calorie or more meals before…when i took my little break…and was probably consuming about 5000 cals per day with snack and sodas! and candies!

so anyways…..this morning i was supposed to take a shower before work but i was wayyyyy too tired after my 13 hours of work yesterday…so i am just gonna be stinky today….i got to work and made a smoothie with my own fruit and just a touch of the store’s banana smoothie mix….just like 3 oz. to make it smooth….so it consisted of 3 oz. banana smoothie mix, 1 banana, and 8 strawberries and bunches of ice…it was sooo good and just under 200 calories and it was big! like 18 oz. so thats awesome! and it has made my tummy happy because its not begging me for more food…cooool!!

welp i gotta work another 13 hour day today…im at maui wowi from 830-3 and then zoup from 330-930ish if not 10…i get paid from maui wowi today and realllllyyyy hope its close to 300 bucks….man do i hope so…i have to pay 150 in bills…and the rest is alll mine…but i gotta go to red lobster with my mom this sunday and i dunno if im payin or if she is or if we are paying for our own meals….now that i get paid every single friday its sooo much easier to manage my money because i only have to wait a week til i get more extra cash…i love it!

well i have plans for my foood at work today….i brought another smart ones at 240 cals, i had some crackers and cheese at 6 am when i work up from my cousins baby making noises and that was 130 cals, an orange at 60 cals, some cinnamon applesauce at 100 cals, and a cinnamon raisin bagel again at 270 cals….that adds up to be 990 cals before i head off to my other job….and i never get the chance to eat there anyways and i dont get a break so i wont be eating til after 10 when i get home and i am going to try my darndest to just eat a greek salad and baked french fries and maybe a ham and cheese sandwich…i dunno yet exactly but i wanna keep it under 2000 cals today for real…no jokin around man!

well it seems to be quite steady in the shop today and its taking me forever to write this blog so i think thats all i have to say anyways….ill talk to yall lata!!!!!

have a great friday and gooood luck!

so here are my totals yall

tahitian vanilla chai - 200

bagel - 270

apple - 70

jello with fruit - 80

wrap - 500

smart ones futtucine alfredo - 240

orange - 60

1420 total

those are just calories im not worried about fat and fiber right now….so ya….i ate a lot of foood today at work…its cuz im sooo bored!!!!!!!

i really could have done without that wrap but oh well its over now and i must deal with it

man my hands are dry and itchy and its cuz of the cold weather and i use those pwdererd gloves at zoup and it irritates my skin…dang it hurts!

welp bye bye now!

welp…the title is there because thats what i just toasted for a customer at work and it smelled delicious and now i have to have one hah

anyways…yesterday was going soooo great until about 9:00 pm and then i just started eating everything in sight….it was all healthy foods but i stopped calculating my cals and was just eating toooo much…

i counted up to 1690 and then i probably consumed 1000 in about an hour….i had a salad with feta, olives, onion, and greek dressing,2 servings of baked fries, some almonds, and more olives, and some more rice snacks…grrr!!!!!

THEN my boyfriend came over because i decided i was gonna be too tired to go see him last night….and he brought me some chocolate covered pretzels and marshmallows from walmart!!!! i was like what why?  but he didnt know i was on a diet…oopsy.

oh well…so,…ive decided that since im gonna be having a birthday dinner at red lobster this sunday and a family bday party this sunday with my favorite cake in the world….this is my pre-diet hahahaha!!!!! have you ever heard that excuse for doing badly…wowzas! and just for the record…i call eating healthy a diet…no im not on low carb diet or weight watchers or anything…i just call when im eating better and watching what i eat a diet..k

anyways…so this week im just trying to get myself used to counting cals again and eating healthier…portion control is not my worry yet…not til im ready!

i work at zoup tonight and i know im gonna want some soup and sandwich or salad….but im gonna pick out something nutritious…cool…i work both jobs today, tomorow, and saturday…im gonna be putting in 36 hours in 3 days…man o man i love having jobs and getting paid but boy o boy am i gonna be exhausted on sunday!!!!! but i have two days off in a row! how amazing is that? i hope yall know its AMAZING!

so today i have had a cinnamon raisin bagel, no cream cheese or butter…and an apple and a bottle of water..cool!

off to working!

okay…so i was inspired by nancy’s blog about how much people suck at jobs haha…so i have a tresponse…well a rant of my own anyways….so here goes!

ok…i dont know whats wrong with people where they have to be told more than twice how to do something or just being told to do something….i know that they know what they are supposed to do and they are just being too damn lazy and letting it go so that i can do it…but at both of my jobs this happens allll the time…mostly at my new job at zoup!….maui wowi this is improving bunches actually…so this is mainly a zoup complaint.

first of all every time i get to zoup i get there at about 4 pm and the morning shift is all just standing around having themselves a nice little chat while i step in and look around and see like 5 things that could be getting done but they are just leaving it for me and my night crew to do because they feel they have worked enough….okay….so that pisses me off…our soups are our main thing at zoup…we have to make  sure that they look very presentable…so if a skin forms on top of the soups then they havent been treated like they should and if theres crusty nasty build up on the sides of the pot then they once again have not been cared for…and every time i get there the soups are all very low and they all have skins and they all have build up on the sides…and heres the morning crew standing around laughing and blah! it just makes me soooo amd because that takes a lot of time and being a night crew shift leader i need to do way more things when i first walk in the door besides getting shit done that the day crew hasnt gotten done…URGH!

okay…and here goes the rant about my pay with zoup!

well…when i first had my interview i told the woman that i wanted to be a manager or shift leader or whatever….she said that she had many other people apply for the position of manager and she would have to decide between us…okay…so first day of training me and 2 others were pulled asied and told that we were chosen to be shift leaders…we werent pulled aside by the owner but by the corporate trainers that came to train us from michigan…or somewhere like that…anyways….i assumed we would get paid more than the others because we did more training and were taught how to manage the money and how to do inventory and i was given a key and the security code and code to the safe…so of course anyone would assume that you were going to get paid more…so i was sooo into this job and was putting my best foot forward and was really trying to impress…okay so we are open for one week and suddenly the day crew shift leader decides to walk in on my night shift and hand over his key and tell me hes quitting because hes not getting paid extra for the work hes been doing and he feels like hes in a mess and getting cheated basically….so i was like this has to be a misunderstanding so i called my manager and asked her what was up and she said that she informed me in the interview that she would decide who she wanted to be a shift leader after 90 days….and im thinking ya ok she definitely told me that but….shes already decided who she wants to be a shift leader and has already got me doing the job…so i say that and she was like “you want a raise after one week of work and thats not gonna happen and i told you all about this and you are still in a learning process” so i am ANGRY to say the least…

i understand if we were still training and learning…but the learning and training process is kind of over…i mean…she already leaves the store and leaves me in charge of her store…i already do inventory on soups every night…i already count down drawers and fill out paper work and deposit money….i already delegate duties and make sure that everyone is staying busy and i already am put in the computer as a manager….im already doing the job…why does she need to wait 90 more days to give me my raise…im not letting this happen to me and she will be hearing from me time and time again until she either fires me because shes sick of it or gives me a raise…because i dont let people screw me over and i know im worth more than she apparently thinks i am!

ok…..and to nancy…i think that people are doing these things because they can get away wth it….and i know that you know you could probably get away with it too but you have better work ethic…these poeple get in a rut and they are not motivated to get out of the rut but guess what…deep down inside they are probably always fearing for their job…thinking i really need to step it up even though they dont act like they are fearing for it i bet you they are….and guess what…you dont have to fear for your job and that right there is way better than anything ever! especially in this economy…and karma will catch up to them…its inevitable…so sit back relax and watch it unfold!

ok…so this morning i was supposed to be at maui wowi by 8:30 and i totally slept til 8:20…when i realized id overslept i popped outta bed…threw on a head band…and my clothes of course…grabbed my purse and keys and was in my car by 8:23…then i got to work by 8:43….so it wasnt too bad i just hate rushing…and usually i dont leave the house til 8:10 and i actually sit in my car until 8:35 when i get to work anyways because i listen to this radio station in the morning that does a culture quiz…for example todays question was “1/3 of guys think its really cool when a woman does this…what is it?” and i always have to wait til i hear the answer or else i cant go through my day haha….and usually it takes a bit for the answer and i dont actually clock in at my job til 8:40 anyways…so ya…..the answer to the question is “belches” eww..haha…i must be the coolest of cools hahahaha.

so anyways…i grabbed a smart ones dinner from the freezer this morning in my rush to leave…i really wanted a ham n cheese sandwich and some veggies and an apple or orange but i just didnt have time to do all that…darnit!

so i made myself a tea at work…its about the loest cal drink i think ill be able to enjoy here even at 100 cals…its just a freshly brewed black lipton iced tea with .5 oz. of raspberry syrup and .5 oz. of candied orange syrup….each oz. of syrup is 100 cals….its pretty delicious…and for the rest of the day i will just have water….im really going to try my darndest to do a good job today like the good ol days…i hope i can hold up….

im gonna be going to my boyfriends house to spend the night tonight and maybe i will make us a scrumptious low cal meal…perhaps some roasted carrots and/or potatoes and some lemon garlic herb chicken breasts and some salad….perhaps! it sounds delicious but he doesnt get home til 11 from work…dangit! i just remembered that… nevermind that! hah!

so i got 7 hours of sleep last night and youwould think id be good this morn…but i still feel really groggy and sleepy…maybe i will take a nap…but then again i probably shouldnt because i work both jobs tomorow which means i will be working from 830 am til 930 pm with just a one hour break in between…..so if i took a nap after work that means i wouldnt be able to fall asleep til real late tonight which means i wont get much sleep for my 12 hour day which means…bad! hah

welp…i guess i should work now…. bye yall!